- These guys? Amatuer hour.
DGWB ended its run at the OC Advertising Co-Ed Softball League championship at Bill Barber Park in Irvine with a last-stand effort that included controversy, bravery and some very bold fashion decisions. After a stunning 13-12 loss, the DGWB offense caught fire in the second game of a doubleheader that paced the team to its first-ever mercy-rule victory, 20-5.
Emotions ran high in the opening game. There were celebrations from both dugouts after the L.A. Kings won the Stanley Cup, but also a few ‘disagreements’ with the umpire that would prove to have decisive implications on the outcome.
“I’m still waiting on an apology from that umpire,” said Doug Koegeboehn, power-hitting third basemen for DGWB. “With instant replay that game would have ended differently. I think it’s something for the commissioner to think about.”
DGWB fought through all of the distractions and stayed in the game with stellar defense behind pitcher Franklin Thomas.
After the loss the dugout was hushed until emotional leader and star shortstop Tom Meyer broke through the silence and delivered a momentum-changing moment. Meyer rose from the bench and said that if he was going out, he was going to do it in style. He then pulled out a circa-1985, double-breasted, purple blazer, undoubtedly from the finest of thrift stores, and took the field as the best dressed man in DGWB softball history.
DGWB shortstop Tom Meyer did what he had to do.
The team responded to Meyer’s courageous act of fashion by jumping ahead 5-0 in the first inning. Koegeboehn led off with a double and new employee Michelle Barker followed with an RBI line drive over the third baseman’s head.
“I don’t really understand softball, but Tom’s blazer just really inspired me to do whatever I could for the team,” said DGWB’s Annie Liu, a champion ping pong player. “I think we really came together when he sacrificed all reasonable fashion for the team.”
The opposing team was understandably thrown off, but it got worse. In the fourth inning their first basemen missed a full at-bat because he was staring at DGWB Intern Peter Walton’s moustache.
“What a distraction,” said the first baseman afterward. “That thing is triumphant. You just don’t seem ‘em like that anymore. I’m left really wondering why that is.”
The game had everything DGWB had been looking for all season. Speed on the bases, solid defense, power at the plate, and of course some yelling, loud 80s music and blazers. But more importantly the game was a sign of growth for next season.
“I tell you, what we need to grow are more moustaches,” said DGWB Manager Jessica Guillen. “Vinnie the intern set us back when he shaved his ‘stache a few weeks ago, so we knew we had to make some adjustments. Peter came up huge. That thing is SICK.”
DGWB’s Mark Weinfeld expects his team to compete for the title next year.
“We might not look like the most intimidating team, but never underestimate the passion we play with. I think Tom showed that tonight,” Weinfeld said. “And Peter’s ‘stache. What a statement. It’s simply mesmerizing.”
“Seriously, I haven’t been taken aback by a ‘stache like that since the mid-70s,” the opposition’s first baseman was heard pondering repeatedly to himself at pizza and beers afterward. “You’ve got Ron Burgundy, Ron Jeremy, Tom Selleck and now that dude from DGWB.”
Rumors circled after the game about sleeveless blazers as the 2013 uniform, however a spokesperson for the team said that no decision has yet been made.